Let me start with, I am making these changes to my website and how I present myself on social media without allowing myself to try and foresee how that could play out in the future.
I’ve spent my whole life trying to control the people and things around me in fear that who I was was too much. Fear that who I was would leave me alone in the world. What I didn’t realize was, that by “protecting” myself from rejection, disappointment, and possible “failure,” I was surrounding myself with people who only loved the performative version of me. I was hiding the parts of myself that I was taught to be ashamed of. Therefore, I couldn’t even allow myself to be fully loved or feel fully loved.
I’ve decided to use social media as a form of radical self love. I’m choosing to be unfiltered and raw to anyone who wants to view it. To prove to myself that the right people will love me in all my “imperfections.” At the end of the day, I will teach myself how to love myself regardless of the influences of the exterior world.
I plan to update this section with where I am at in life, when and only when I feel called to. I want to share moments of joy and expose my low moments as well. This is for me first, but I’m using it as an opportunity to be selflessly selfish. Hopefully as I find myself, you can feel supported on your own journey to your true self.
I wrote this on July 4th, 2023 at 11:44am. Today is September 15th 2023 and I am finishing this post at 11:44am.
Cheers to another rebirth of self<3